The Internet Girl Monologue

Today, I saw someone on X “Formerly known as Twitter” call me ugly. They said I look like an alien hammerhead shark sloth bitch.

Don’t they know I have mastered the art of beauty, learned color theory, understand silhouettes, proportions, don’t express on my forehead too much to prevent wrinkles and have a 12 step skincare routine every single day?

I’m going to look at their profile and point out why they are ugly on a scientific level now. They don’t deserve the peace of me blocking them. I am going to make 2 more tweets about this in case it doesn’t hit. They don’t know how hard my life is.

“What is my problem with man you ask? No, I ask you, what was man’s problem with me.” -Dexter’s Laboratory.

I see I got a notification for an X payout, it’s only $50. I’m going to tweet Elon Musk about this.

I’m too hot to be paid this little, and I’m being modest to not go into detail about every attribute of my exotic body. I were blonde with straight hair I would have been paid $20,000 with Elon Musk’s opaque payout policy.

I scroll Xitter (Pronounced SHITTER) wondering when I’ll get my next hit so I can procrastinate more. It never happens. Screw this site. It’s time to tweet about the current trending group of people to shit on. (Indian coded). I’m going to tell people to buy my soap or they’re Indian coded because I won’t get paid much for posting on X.

I’m on my own I’m not in anyone’s club to get special treatment, I don’t look easily controllable or agreeable enough. I should start pretending to do coke —kind of like that episode Peter Griffin picks up smoking to get “Smoking breaks”.

Am I in an abusive relationship with the internet? Is this mental rape? Does the Lioness concern herself with being the raped?

I’m still not opening an Onlyfans. X seems to want to shove these blue-light district women onto everyone’s feed these days. I call them that because computer screens are blue.

Nowadays you see them act a little more subtle like some girl referring to herself as a Hyperborean foid virgin (who is actually not a virgin btw) who posts selfies of herself in some provocative pose showing all the shades of nude of her skin. Shitposting is more respectable, actually —and I’m allowed to do it as I was a pioneer of it so step off nigga.

I’m a high efficiency racist and have calculated my racism paying $1 an hour on Xitter. Gotta get those numbers up and whip out the vintage slurs.

The next person that fucks with me is a bingo-bongo.

I really could be drawing something right now but it’s not as productive at using slurs on the internet for clout.